I Don’t Hate You…..

I just hope you find a friend like you one day.

It’s been over a year since my on again-off again friend blocked me on social media for what seems like the millionth time.  Do I miss talking to her? Sometimes. But then I just remember all the things she has done to me over the years and I realize that sometimes it’s just better to let some people walk out of your life.

Each time we started speaking again, I was the one who reached out to her.  I was the one apologizing when I had nothing to apologize for.  I was the one who had to act like her haphazard apologies were enough.  Just to later on down the road, have her lie or scheme against me so she could play the victim.  She is the definition of a toxic person. I never understood why she would always do the things she did.  The only thing I can conclude is that she is an unhappy person with low self esteem. If she can make me feel badly about myself, it somehow makes her feel better. It’s as if she has to be higher than me on some imaginary pedastal.

The thing that just annoys me the most about her is how people don’t see how she really is.  She gives off this facade that people believe.  I don’t even bother trying to tell people who she really is.  It wouldn’t do any good. Sometimes people just have to see it for themselves.  All I know is that she could have a had a really good friend if she hadn’t spent so much time stabbing me in the back.



Throw back to when I was pretty….


Senior Prom 1996.  Proof that I haven’t always been fat and that I used to be attractive.  Three kids and 40-50 lbs later, I don’t really feel that pretty anymore.  I’d love to look in the mirror and see this girl again.  But let’s be realistic. I was 17 and my metabolism was decent. Now it’s at a standstill. I’d be glad to just be down 20-30 lbs.

Oh and the guy in the picture? That’s my ex, my oldest son’s father. And yes, I am that short.  I’m 4’11” (I was probably around 4’10” in this photo) and he’s 6’2″-6’3′. I didn’t crop him out of the photo because, why? He was a part of my life at one time and I don’t hate him. I have fond memories of hanging out with him and just being the typical couple.  Things didn’t work out between us and that’s ok.  I do remember that he hated taking pictures LOL.  And I really can’t hate him because I see so much of him in my son.  It would almost like be hating my own child.

I also have photos somewhere of my first boyfriend and I going to prom. I may post those at another time.  I wasn’t as cute in those as I am in this one LOL.  I had my hair cut really short and was at that awkward teenage stage LOL.  To this day, my first boyfriend and I are still friends.  I don’t see why exes have to hate each other.  It never made much sense to me.  Things don’t work out and you move on to something better for you.  I know my ex in this photo doesn’t really care much for me and that’s ok.  I never knew why though. Ah..guess it’s just one of those things….

Stop Making Stupid People Famous

Why are we making a smart mouth, misbehaved child a celebrity? I know whoever reads this will know who I am talking about but I refuse to use her name or her infamous catch phrase.  I will admit, I found the Dr. Phil show amusing. I shared the memes on fb because at first, it was funny. However, the more I thought about it, I just couldn’t believe that a parent would let their child behave that way and not do something about it. Especially a 13 year old child.  I think I have it figured out though.  I honestly believe that this was all a ploy by the child’s mother to become famous. And it worked.  I watched both Dr. Phil shows. On the first, she acted like an exasperated mother who needed help for her out of control child.  It made for good TV. Then by the 2nd show, the mother was telling Dr. Phil that their episode was the highest rated one ever. Um, excuse me. You are proud of the fact that the show was so popular because your daughter acted like a skank?  That right there is exactly what is wrong with her daughter.  She has failed as a mother.

What really has me annoyed though is that some youtubers and a rap artist have collaborated with this child.  They have made videos with her and encouraged her behavior. Most of these youtubers are young adults.  A decent mother wouldn’t have even entertained the idea of allowing their 13 year old daughter to hang out with these people. I’ve also heard the girl is going to not only going to get her own tv show, but also get paid 40K to make an appearance at a rap festival in Miami. I don’t know why some people idolize her. I’ve seen the videos she’s posted on instagram and if my daughter ever did anything like that, she would be grounded until she was 30!  I’ve also read that her father has been in a custody battle with the child’s mother since 2004.  He also pays child support. I think he’s trying to get full custody of her from her mom. I feel sorry for his wife and kids. That girl will pull them apart.  If he gets custody, he needs to send her to a boot camp for troubled kids and straighten her out.

I know I sort of got away from the original point but I think it’s ridiculous that our country makes stupid people famous. People who are famous for nothing.  If you’re going to be famous, please have a talent other than being a mouthy, idiotic, disrespectful teenager.

Dear Immigrants

Dear Immigrants:

I know you are having a “Day Without Immigrants” protest going on today.  What you all seem to misunderstand is that Americans, as a whole, do not “hate” immigrants in general. In fact, we respect the ones who come here legally and do things the right way. The ones who attempt to learn what it means to be an American.

I understand why so many people want to come here.  I really do. Even though the US gets a bad rap from other countries (even though we give aid to so many) it is still one of the best places to be.  But American citizens have the right to want to feel protected in their own country.  It’s not a good idea to let everyone in.  We want people who want to work for the American dream. We don’t want another country’s criminals. I’m sure those countries love when their derelicts cross the border. That means that they are the American’s problem now.

And for those of you who think you “deserve” free education even though you haven’t paid a cent in taxes. You don’t “deserve” anything that this country has to offer if you are illegal. And yes, I’m using the word “illegal”. You are a criminal.  Crossing the border without proper documentation is illegal.  It is also an insult to all those who came here legally and went through the proper steps to be an American.

So I hope your little “Day Without Immigrants” backfires on you. Americans can sustain herself with or without you. And for those of you who have come to the US legally and are now American citizens, congratulations! I am glad that you’re here and I hope this country is everything you hope it will be!


An American Citizen

None of Your Business….

Why do so many people who don’t pay my bills think they have any say in what I do? Or that I even want their opinion? You don’t have to agree with me but you also don’t have to be hateful and snarky either.

The current situation that is causing some people to get an attitude with me is the fact that I am allowing my 9 months pregnant stepdaughter and her daughter to move in, just until the baby is born and she can get into her apartment. Yeah, she is a difficult person to deal with and she’s done things that have angered me.  But where would I be if God said to me “Nope, I’m not going to give you any more chances?”  People often want mercy granted to them but they don’t want to extend the same to others.  I don’t understand it.

And yes, I know people take advantage of me. But what was I supposed to do? Put a pregnant girl and my grandchild on the street? I am not that kind of person.  It just seems like a no-win situation to me. So I had to choose what I think God would want me to do.  And I don’t think he’d want me to let someone be homeless if I had the ability to prevent it.

However, with all that being said, I pray she gets her apartment soon. I know it will be easier on everyone if she does.  And as for what people want to say or think about me, that’s their problem. I don’t answer to them.