Friendships can be so much like romatic relationships, especially when they end. There are constant feelings of rejection, and “why wasn’t I good enough?” It really feels that way when you see your former friend being a “good” friend to someone else. Slowly you start to realize that maybe they weren’t ever your friend at all. Sure, they played the part, but when it comes down to it, they didn’t treat you the way friends treat each other. It’s so much easier to see that in hindsight.
For whatever reason, females tend to have “frenemies”: Those people who love to hate you. These people go along with the facade of loving you but once the friendship is over and you start looking back, you see all the things they did to attempt to bring you down. They are they kind of girls who finally convince you to go out with a male friend of theirs only to tell lies about you so he’ll tell you he isn’t interested anymore. Then within a week, you find out your “friend” is dating the guy who she told you was just her “friend”. They are also the kind of friend who will provoke you and then when you verbally defend yourself, she runs to one of the school’s bullies (who is also a girl)and tells only one side of the story in hopes that you get beaten to a pulp. Yes, I know from personal experience that girls do this to their “friends”.
True friends find ways to make you feel good about yourself, not sabatoge your self-esteem. Friends are supposed to have your back no matter what. If your friends don’t have those qualities, find new ones. Really. Do that. Peple can change, but I’ve learned they seldom do. It’s my opinion that people don’t change because they don’t think there’s anything wrong with how they treat people. So don’t keep hoping that one day that they will “grow out” of their behavior. They won’t. And that’s ok. You have to find someone who’s worthy to be your friend. If someone doesn’t want to be a true friend, keep looking.
This is advice I wish someone had given me when I thought I couldn’t find a better friend or when I’d forgiven her for the 20th time for hurting me. You can forgive people but you do not have to allow them back into your life. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. We all make mistakes. However, when someone continuously hurts you, you have to learn to walk away. I give people plenty of chances, more than I should. But I’ve had to learn to say “enough!”. And you should learn to do the same.