Dear Immigrants

Dear Immigrants:

I know you are having a “Day Without Immigrants” protest going on today.  What you all seem to misunderstand is that Americans, as a whole, do not “hate” immigrants in general. In fact, we respect the ones who come here legally and do things the right way. The ones who attempt to learn what it means to be an American.

I understand why so many people want to come here.  I really do. Even though the US gets a bad rap from other countries (even though we give aid to so many) it is still one of the best places to be.  But American citizens have the right to want to feel protected in their own country.  It’s not a good idea to let everyone in.  We want people who want to work for the American dream. We don’t want another country’s criminals. I’m sure those countries love when their derelicts cross the border. That means that they are the American’s problem now.

And for those of you who think you “deserve” free education even though you haven’t paid a cent in taxes. You don’t “deserve” anything that this country has to offer if you are illegal. And yes, I’m using the word “illegal”. You are a criminal.  Crossing the border without proper documentation is illegal.  It is also an insult to all those who came here legally and went through the proper steps to be an American.

So I hope your little “Day Without Immigrants” backfires on you. Americans can sustain herself with or without you. And for those of you who have come to the US legally and are now American citizens, congratulations! I am glad that you’re here and I hope this country is everything you hope it will be!


An American Citizen


None of Your Business….

Why do so many people who don’t pay my bills think they have any say in what I do? Or that I even want their opinion? You don’t have to agree with me but you also don’t have to be hateful and snarky either.

The current situation that is causing some people to get an attitude with me is the fact that I am allowing my 9 months pregnant stepdaughter and her daughter to move in, just until the baby is born and she can get into her apartment. Yeah, she is a difficult person to deal with and she’s done things that have angered me.  But where would I be if God said to me “Nope, I’m not going to give you any more chances?”  People often want mercy granted to them but they don’t want to extend the same to others.  I don’t understand it.

And yes, I know people take advantage of me. But what was I supposed to do? Put a pregnant girl and my grandchild on the street? I am not that kind of person.  It just seems like a no-win situation to me. So I had to choose what I think God would want me to do.  And I don’t think he’d want me to let someone be homeless if I had the ability to prevent it.

However, with all that being said, I pray she gets her apartment soon. I know it will be easier on everyone if she does.  And as for what people want to say or think about me, that’s their problem. I don’t answer to them.

Ditch those frenemies

Friendships can be so much like romatic relationships, especially when they end.  There are constant feelings of rejection, and “why wasn’t I good enough?” It really feels that way when you see your former friend being a “good” friend to someone else.  Slowly you start to realize that maybe they weren’t ever your friend at all. Sure, they played the part, but when it comes down to it, they didn’t treat you the way friends treat each other.  It’s so much easier to see that in hindsight.

For whatever reason, females tend to have “frenemies”: Those people who love to hate you. These people go along with the facade of loving you but once the friendship is over and you start looking back, you see all the things they did to attempt to bring you down.  They are they kind of girls who finally convince you to go out with a male friend of theirs only to tell lies about you so he’ll tell you he isn’t interested anymore.  Then within a week, you find out your “friend” is dating the guy who she told you was just her “friend”. They are also the kind of friend who will provoke you and then when you verbally defend yourself, she runs to one of the school’s bullies (who is also a girl)and tells only one side of the story in hopes that you get beaten to a pulp.  Yes, I know from personal experience that girls do this to their “friends”.

True friends find ways to make you feel good about yourself, not sabatoge your self-esteem.  Friends are supposed to have your back no matter what. If your friends don’t have those qualities, find new ones.  Really. Do that.  Peple can change, but I’ve learned they seldom do.  It’s my opinion that people don’t change because they don’t think there’s anything wrong with how they treat people.  So don’t keep hoping that one day that they will “grow out” of their behavior.  They won’t.  And that’s ok. You have to find someone who’s worthy to be your friend.  If someone doesn’t want to be a true friend, keep looking.

This is advice I wish someone had given me when I thought I couldn’t find a better friend or when I’d forgiven her for the 20th time for hurting me.  You can forgive people but you do not have to allow them back into your life. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. We all make mistakes. However, when someone continuously hurts you, you have to learn to walk away. I give people plenty of chances, more than I should.  But I’ve had to learn to say “enough!”.  And you should learn to do the same.

Yay, America!

I find it amusing that people are so terrified about Trump being the new president.  Trump wasn’t my pick for the Republican nominee but there’s no way I could even think about voting for Hillary. She goes against everything I believe in. I have a lot of old school values and morals.  I am strongly pro-life. She thinks a baby doesn’t have any rights until he/she is born and that late term abortions are totally fine. This is not something I could ever support.

I also believe that a president should be able to handle something as rudimentary as email.  How does one who works in goverment not know what “classified” means. That right there sends up red flags that she can’t keep government secrets.  Her supporters also want to call Trump racist.  Fact: Hillary said that Robert Byrd, who had involvment with the KKK at one time was her “mentor”. She called black males “super predators”. Not to mention she got some of our men killed in Behghazi because she didn’t do her job. Then she said that they didn’t matter.  Well, Mrs. Clinton, apparently they did becuase I think that’s one of the reason many people didn’t want you in office. It was one of the biggest reasons I would not vote for her.

Also, I am not against legal immigrants by any means.  I think that if you let people come here illegally it’s an insult to all of the legal immigrants who followed the laws.  Then there’s the whole same-sex issue. I’m not going to get into all of that but just because I don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean I hate them. God has called us to love everyone but that doesn’t mean we have to go along with what they do.

I am tired of seeing posts calling Trump supporters stupid and asking questions like “What the ****?”.  And all you celebrities can chill also. You still have money. You can still make your subpar movies and music.  You weren’t effected by Obama and I doubt you will be effected by Trump. It’s the middle class who gets screwed over.  Obama did that for 8 years. The American people were ready for a change.  I’m glad we got it.


An Unlikely Friendship

I first met Cristie when Jake was around 18 months old or so.  She was dating my ex, Jake’s father.  At first, I was hurt and jealous.  I felt like my ex had just thrown nearly 3 and a half years away. However, I had to admit to myself that he and I just weren’t good for each other.  Whatever attracted us to each other when we were 16 just wasn’t there anymore.  And I realized that was ok. I was 19, almost 20 and still young.

I did want him to be a more active father. However, he just wasn’t mature enough to give up what he wanted to do in order to spend one on one time with his son. Young moms don’t have the same luxury. Often they have to be a parent whether they want to or not.   I resented him for that. I didn’t resent Jake at all, just the fact that his father got to be carefree and I had all the responsibility of being a parent.

I think my ex had it in his head that in order for him to see Jake, he’d have to still be with me. That wasn’t the case at all.   I told him I would drop Jake off and leave so they could spend some time together, and then go pick him back up later on.  He told me he didn’t have time for that and got into a truck with a girl, who I would later find out to be Cristie.

I found out a month or so later from a girl at work that Cristie and my ex would be getting married.  Was I hurt? Sure. But I was more relieved than anything.  See, my ex and I had a rocky relationship.  We would break up and he would see other people. Sometimes I’d talk to another guy, but never really dated.  We would get back together and if he found out I so much as spoke to another guy, he’d get angry with me.  So when I found out he and Cristie were going to be married, I felt free. I knew then I didn’t have to be his backup. And I’m glad because that November I met Will, the man I would marry.

Cristie and I didn’t always get along.  I’m not sure exactly what all my ex had said about me. I’m sure that most of it wasn’t nice.  Was I perfect? No. But neither was he.  Cristie and I eventually started talking more and it was evident that she really cared about Jake.  I told her as long as she was good to my son, she’d never have a problem out of me.  I really don’t think I could have picked out a better step bonus mom for Jake.  She was usually the one who would show up to pick him up and he always loved going with her.

Cristie and I would have a few misunderstandings here and there, but nothing major.  We always got past them.  I was really disheartened when she told me that my ex had been cheating on her and was leaving her for the other woman.  She was a good wife and I honestly don’t think my ex could have asked for a better wife. But for whatever reason, he wasn’t happy. And I guess in this day and time, being happy is the only thing that matters. Not vows and morals. But that’s not the focus of this.

Cristie never overstepped her boundaries when it came to Jake. She never tried to replace me or compete with me. She simply wanted what was best for him. She still does. I think that’s why even though Jake is grown, he still goes to see her and respects her.  She was in his life constantly for 10 years. So when my ex and Cristie divorced, I told her that she would always be able to see Jake whenever she wanted. I was not going to keep him from seeing her or his brother and sister.

I now consider her a good friend and I wouldn’t change that for the world.  People used to be so confused when I’d tell them I was friends with my ex’s wife and that we got along really well. But Cristie is a great person so it’s not really a surprise to me.  I still consider her Jake’s “bonus” mom and I’m glad she’s still a part of his life.